Imagine sitting across from someone at a nice restaurant.
Before you even menu-browse or take a sip of water, he spends forty-five minutes giving you an unsolicited monologue about his high school track trophies, his quarterly personal achievements, and how he uses “synergistic paradigm execution” to organize his daily life.
He hasn’t asked you your name. He doesn’t know if you’re hungry. He hasn’t even checked if you’re still breathing.
If a guy acts like the universe revolves around him, he doesn’t need a partner. He needs a fan club.
Yet, this is exactly how so many business websites and sales pitches operate today.
You land on a homepage looking for a simple solution to a problem, and instead of feeling welcomed, you’re hit with a wall of self-praise and flowery, obscure vocabulary.
Sometimes, when reading these websites, I genuinely pause and wonder: Are they hoping to reach a secret society of scholars who actually speak like this? Or is there a hidden code in paragraph three that I need a decoder ring to solve?
To give you an idea of what I mean, here are a few ridiculously eloquent misses I’ve seen in the wild (or variations of them that made me laugh):
- “We leverage hyper-local, multi-dimensional nexus frameworks to holistically elevate your brand’s digital ecosystem.” (Translation: We make social media posts.)
- “Our bespoke, artisanal ideation methodologies cultivate transformative emotional synergy across enterprise touchpoints.” (Translation: We write copy.)
- “Empowering visionary stakeholders through quantum-level operational alignment and strategic forward-thrusting dynamics.” (Translation: We help you organize your schedule.)
Ang ganda pakinggan. It sounds very smart, very expensive, and utterly meaningless to the actual human being holding the credit card.
Here is the truth: as customers, we are inherently self-interested. And we have every right to be. We are the ones paying for the service. We are the ones investing our hard-earned money and limited time.
When I look at a product or a service, I don’t want to hear about your company’s internal ego trip. I want to know: What’s in it for me? How will this fit into my daily life? How does this solve the headache I woke up with this morning?
Just like in a relationship, if the world only revolves around you, I’m out.
When I consult with founder-led businesses, the single biggest messaging shift I ask them to make isn’t about using bigger words or hiring a fancier agency.
It is simply this: Stop talking about yourself, and start talking to the human across the table.
Before you write a single line of copy for your website, your social media, or your proposal, do these three things:
- Know your target market deeply. Understand what keeps them awake at 2:00 AM.
- Learn how they actually speak. Use their vocabulary, not your industry jargon.
- Make them feel seen. When they land on your page, they should instantly recognize themselves in your words.
Your website shouldn’t feel like a podium where you deliver a speech about how great you are. It should feel like a comfortable coffee date where the other person listens, understands your problem, and says, “I’ve got you. Here’s how we fix this together.”
Be so clear and so human in your messaging that your customer reads it, nods, and thinks: “Finally. Someone gets it.”
Because at the end of the day, clarity beats eloquence every single time.
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